How much our childhood lays the foundation for all our future lives has long been repeated by psychologists, psychiatrists and therapists, but how directly causal this experience is for everything that will happen later is not so well emphasized, especially in terms of its influence on physical as well as mental and emotional health.
Today, looking at some photos of me as a child, it became even clearer to me how everything that would later happen, for better and for worse in the years to come, was already written there.
In the eyes of me as a child I could already read everything but only now, after so many years and after an inner journey that began and never ended, am I able to see it and realize it.
There are those who are fortunate enough to have been raised by supportive, serene, and loving parents and those who had to give thanks because they found dinner ready and a snack, those who from a very early age felt invested with responsibilities greater than themselves such as providing psychological support to depressed or anxious parents and caring for a younger sibling.
A child who did not feel welcomed and could not be carefree when the time was right will be an adult easily filled with frailties and voids, and no one can fill them except awareness and continuous work on oneself.
Commenting on this post of mine shared in the facebook group "Of autoimmune disease you can recover" we shared our experiences and many confirmed very similar experiences in childhood:
N.M.P: ... "When I was 6 years old, my horrible teacher kicked me out of the classroom because I peed in the chair, I assume from fear, my mother came to pick me up but neither understood nor defended or comforted me... Today that I am 60 years old "rejections" are occurring from friends and relatives that make no apparent sense... BUT since yesterday I understand with different eyes and heart..."
C.C ... "And then if these parents don't even keep you, since there are already four children to feed.... The first one, female was left, along with the last one who was also small. The second and third, which would be my husband, were for a few years raised by an aunt. He told me only once in a moment of anger and insecurity with himself, not having received affection was a big problem for him even in giving affection.."
S.G. "When I read certain posts, such as this one, I get a pang in my heart because it's as if the writer is talking with my mouth...I notice that many of the people with these conditions have inner voids and psychological problems. This is a sad thing but at the same time it gives me hope because the psychological aspect can be worked on."
E-B. "I always felt like an orphan. I very deep and sensitive....with two tough and not at all welcoming parents."
A-I "The more I lived life as a mom, the more I realized that childhood is the focus of all existence. And I realized my own miserable childhood and how much I wanted to make my children's childhood different. You try hopefully."
S.C. "Reeling from a week of yet another hospitalization (I've been going on for 17 years) only lately have I been gaining awareness by reliving the causes that fueled the disease, all of which relates back to a denied love that I've been carrying around for years, difficult it is to figure out how to get out of it."
A.Z. I also look at pictures of me as a child and realize that's where the knot is."
I conclude by quoting Umberto Galimberti:
"Parents make mistakes, but there are one or two things they can keep in mind to reduce the damage. The first is the need for acceptance: accepting the child for who he or she is. An unproclaimed, internal acceptance. "Volo ut sis," said St. Augustine, I want you to be what you are, not what I anticipate you should be.
Then, it is necessary for parents to recognize the value that pure young people have, because before they destroy themselves they have some positive cues, and these cues need to be reinforced.
Finally, you have to keep communication open no matter what happens, communication understood as truly caring about what your child is doing and trying to communicate."